a grieving hope,

sometimes in life, things just don’t work out for us. maybe we try our best to make things work, but they simply dont. or not yet? maybe for some things. but for many things, they might never work.

and sometimes, we beat ourselves up so much. because we attribute it to our own efforts, our own mistakes, our own decisions, that has led to our current situation and placing in life. sometimes we find ourselves in a predicament that is too hurtful to leave because we want it so, so much. but also we can’t find any ways to make it happen.

so that’s when we realise that — it has never been up to us. no matter what we do and what decisions we make, if it isn’t meant for us, then it will never be. the cold, hard truth hurts. the raw truth, when spelled out for us, can seem like a dagger with ragged edges, going in and out of our hearts.

but that’s it.

moving on from something that you truly yearn for, but can’t have, is a little like leaving something behind in your life. and that something is something that you love most. that pain of walking away, of accepting reality, of letting go of what your heart loves most — that love you have changes into grief.

truly, we are tested in this dunya with what we love most. and it will hurt. the grief we have starts from a gnawing pain in our heart, into a physical ache throughout…